In one weekPosted: August 5, 2012
I hope to shit I am done.
I can’t believe it. This has come so fast and is so bittersweet. I won’t lie, I don’t really want it to be over. Ironman has defined my life for the last 8 months, I’m not sure who the new me will be without it. As much as I am ready for the challenge, I feel like there will be a huge whole in my life. What am I going to do with my time? What is my new purpose? These are all big scary questions I have been hiding behind. I’m feeling really sentimental right now, it’s all hitting me. This is most likely the only time in my life I will accomplish this goal. I want to do it well, to look back and be proud and say “That is the best I could have done” I’ve put in the training, I’ve changed my life. I am ready for it physically and mentally. Emotionally, I’m not so sure. I have no idea how I will fill when I cross that finish line. I’ve tried to think about it a thousand times and I just cant fathom what it will be like. I’ve decided to only talk positive to myself all day. If something goes wrong or sucks or hurts, I’m gonna take a step back and try and just enjoy where I am and how lucky I am to be doing what I’m doing. Hopefully that will give me any mental push I may need. I started checking some things off my list yesterday, just small things that I wanted to accomplish and that help to settle my nerves a bit. Monday and Tuesday will be a blur, as I have a lot of errands to run and stuff that needs done before we leave on Wednesday. Tomorrow will be my last day to just sit and think and reflect, which I’m happy about. I’m a doer, not a sitter. Lets get this show on the road. I am confident, excited, nervous, ready, stressed, a mess, yet calm. Every emotion to the max. The whole build up is part of it.
I just can’t believe its here.