Challenging weekend

What a random yet boring few days it has been

Friday was supposed to be my long ride outside. All week they were forecasting 65 degrees and sunny. Friday morning, it was way cooler than that and now calling for later afternoon showers. Long story short, we got 45 minutes of a ride in and got rained out. I was pissed. Miserable, defeated. Not only because of the ride but because after Matt and I had planned to go have a few drinks. I saved all 3 beers for Friday night and I was excited to go out with friends and have a few drinks on the weekend, something I haven’t done since I’ve started training. It was 230 when we stopped riding, not idea going out time. We went out then anyway, which did end up working out in the long run. I had my three beers and managed to get TANKED on them. I shocked myself. I also made a bad life choice on the way home and treated myself to a Shamrock shake. It was delicious. I still have a headache.

I barely slept that night, and Saturday I felt like hell. I don’t miss that feeling at all! I started to get mad at myself for not only skipping a workout, but then drinking and cheating on my new food lifestyle. I went to the gym to finish my workouts for the week. Run and swim both felt awesome. I pushed myself a little bit more than my training zone said to, but it felt good to go hard and I needed that.

Yesterday I did nothing, ate well, didn’t cheat, and when I met a friend in from out of town at my favorite bar, I drank water. Yesterday I felt better about Friday.

Today started our second cut back week. In some ways I’m happy for it, it others I’m not. I feel like I am at this point where if I stop seeing progress, I’m going to start slacking on my eating. I know that when I’m working hard, I need to eat well. When I have a few easy days, I tend to be more laid back.

Today for example, I ate swam then went to whole foods. Had a good lunch from the salad/ hot foods bar there and spent a shit ton on all kinds of crap to make healthy meals from pinterest. Came home and didn’t feel like making ANYTHING that I bought, so I caved and had some of the Tuna noodle casserole my mom made for dinner. It was amazing. I haven’t had white pasta and cream in MONTHS. But now I feel fat and bad about myself and that I am not going to achieve my goal. I know I’m being dramatic, but I promised myself that I would have the will power to not eat crap for 8 months and this weekend I failed at it twice. Blah.

I’m more depressed now after typing and reading all of that. I’m gonna go read and hope tomorrow is a better day.

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